Tuesday, March 14, 2006

A spin doctor's further advice to crocodiles

Dear Mr. Crocodile,

In my last entry, I have given you the following advice:

You must own and control the public media so that if and when public opinion strongly turns against meat-eating, you can instantly ask top editors to publish pictures showing you actually frequent vegetarian restaurants every week and love vegetarian food very much. With the strong and united support of a controlled media, you can even stand on moral high ground to publicly accuse tigers and lions of being inhuman because they eat meat, and call on all peace-loving creatures to report any meat-eating activities to you so that actions could be taken against them by you. If you repeat enough, some people would actually forget you are also meat-eating.

Of course, the above-mentioned advice is only the ABC of propaganda. Here are the DEF:

Although publicly accusing tigers and lions of being inhuman because they eat meat can serve the purpose of diverting attention on you, it may be costly because tigers and lions, being creatures as powerful as you, could also counteract and make the same accusation against you. So, if you are not that desperate or threatened, you may consider first not to make allegation against creatures of equal or more superior strength but targeting at creatures of weaker or more inferior strengths like white ants, snakes, or rats and mices.

Well, although you cannot exactly accuse white ants, snakes or rats and mices of meat-eating, you can, through the media you own and control, create diversionary issues like campaigns against 'destroying other's property' or ' kill the rats and mices to keep the environment clean'. If your media is powerful, skillful and not stupid enough, creation of new and diversionary issues can also serve to kill off, or at least trivalise, the 'anti-meat-eating' public opinion.
After a while, many nice guys including genuine and true vegetarians may well come to see you as non-confrontational and people-friendly again although you are still a meat-eater behind the scene or in dark corners.

After the 'anti-meat-eating' public opinion has cooled down, you may also ask the media you own and control to invite a few vegeterian columists and commentators to write regularly in your media on issues like 'UFO', 'Big Foot', 'Pontian Anak' and 'The Menace of Tiger' or 'Michael Jackson's lifestyle' and encourage them to be as 'intellectually critical' and 'politically argumentative' as possible as long as they do not touch on the critical or vital topic of 'meat-eating'. This is to drain the intellectual energies of the more educated vegetarians, prevent them from talking about your meat-eating lifestyle and philosophy and to show you are also democratic.

Your media may also occasionally interview some less radical vegeterian leaders or vegetrian leaders who secretly admire the meat-eating lifestyle on issues like how to improve the quality of envionment in the jungle or how to upgrade computer skills for all creatures, etc as long as the topic of meat-eating is not allowed to be mentioned.

In this way, you can show that you are as humane as the vegetarians, you are receptive to vegetarians' point of views on many issues (minus eat-eating) and also that the media you own and control to defend and preserve your meat-eating lifestyle is actually not biased or one-sided against vegetarians.

* Of course, the strategy will only be successful if no one else (except you and me) or not many people know about it and that is why it is imperative that we keep our correspondence confidential and outside the privy of the by and large still credulous vegetarians, especially in the rural areas.


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